Ok, well thanks to the wonders of the internet, 4 paragraphs I had written just disappeared. Awesome.
Anyways, I found out a pretty cool thing before I came in here, my gf and her sister hadn't had the pleasure of Twin Peaks before me. They watch Psych, and they told me about teh Dual Spires episode, hich I watched and loved due to all the Twin Peaks references AND the fact they had mutiple actual Twin Peaks performers in it, but, my gfs sister just comes up to me and told me she was watching Fringe and there was a reference to Dr. Jacoby. Its amazing how even after all these years Twin Peaks still feels fresh and relevant, but would you expect anything else from the great David Lynch?
I wish I had more to say, but, its really frustrating to have that happen. I've had this happen so many times before with computers. it might be why i'm always more confortable just writing in notebooks.
Computers are so fucking sketchy when it comes to this, at least the worst that can happen with a notebook or paper is that you run out of ink in the pen you are using.
It's a little after 12am PST, I'm still wide awake. I used up all but one dose of Nyquill, and I fell bad taking it, as my gf is uber sick still. I suggested she stop smoking for a few days until her lungs recover from her cough and she just looked at me like I had 6 heads. I hope if the day comes we ever decide to have kids, and I suggest she stop smoking THAN, I don't get the same "you have 6 heads" look I got tonight.
I took some Sleeping pills about an hour ago, and they still aren't kicking in. Odd. After this, I've got to rework my downtime play list on my mp3 player. When it's time for bed if I'm not tired or the pills don't kick in, I tend to try and meditate while listening to some stuff that puts me in a zone.
I added the phenomial sountracks from Inception and Sunshine to my mp3 player before. They have that "dream" type feel I enjoy while trying to fall asleep or meditate. Got some cool stuff on there, things like The Diamond Sea by Sonic Youth, Jet Black by Jawbreaker, Naveed and Hope b Our Lady Peace, Only In Dreams by Weezer.... things of this nature.
Other than that, I don't know honestly how much I'm really looking forward to yet ANOTHER day of failure looking for jobs. My gf suggested a Temp agency 2 or 3 weeks ago, but, I really want a job, even if it's something I don't really want to spend my life doing, that at least offers me vacation time. I'd like to be able to go visit my mom and dad and family back in NY around thanksgiving. it's my fav holiday, and, nothing makes me happier than spending time with my family on the holidays. So, IDK, it seems like a good idea for now, but at 35, I really can't spend too much time working at Temp jobs.
I wish I could find a job out here like the one I had working for a local Township. I worked with great people, I had PRIDE in myself for doing what was a worthy job, and it had a HUGE future for me. Right now, I don't really have ANY future... which is depressing to me. It sucks, I haven't had anything in my life the past few years that would be considered depressing, I loved my job, loved my living situation, love my place in life. Right now, I really don't know WHAT to feel or think about my life. Kinda sucks. Hard to see the bright side of things when its pitch black out, overcast, and no moon.... and my flashlight is out of batteries. I hope sometimes soon, someone gives me some batteries so I can find my way again. Right now, I'm wandering down the path pretty much blind and oblivious to what tomorrow is going to bring.
Monday, January 24, 2011
First Entry: A Girl Named Rita...
So, IDK why this popped into my head while watching Jeoporady before with my gf and her sister, but back when I worked overnight retail for a major drug store chain, one whose heart is BLACK and cold when it comes to their employees, This girl Rita used to come into everyonce in a while.
She was nice, but kinda disturbed. But, one thing I learned about while working overnight is that alot of what "normal" people would consider strange, is alot of the customers we had to deal with. Over the years i became desensitized to this, and became kinda "strange" in my own right.
I guess working overnight can do that to you.
Anyways, I have quite a few stories about Rita, but, here is the one i was thinking about just now.
I was working one night, a 10pm-4am shift, which was kinda a "Half" shift, not that we EVER got to take lunch or a break as we were always "Encouraged" by our management NOT to by their reactions to if we DID take a 15 minute break on our 10 hour shift, and some work didn't get done, lest they not sit in the office for 4 hours of their shift... which we witnessed on a regular occaison if we watched the DVR back...
anyways, Rita comes in. Rita was a nice girl, just seemed a little spacy. She comes in, and by this time I had become friendly with her, as I did alot of the customers that had come in during our shift. I was about to get off work, so she had mentioned how exciting that was and asked me if she waited around, if i wanted to come with her.
I was confused and interested, and asked her where she was going.
rita tells me to come out to her car.
On going outside, there was her Station wagon packed full. She had decided 4 or 5 hours earlier that she was going to go out to california to try and make it out there. So she proceeded to pack her station wagon, and, came in to ask me if I wanted to accompany her. why, she didnt really say, but I always assumed that because we had tried to start a band previous, and she knew I was a writer and played some guitar, that I would be an asset.
I honestly never found out why she wanted to go anyways.
I asked her which way she was going, she told me she was looking forward to driving thru NYC and thru chicago and going that way.
So, I was like fuck it, I told her, I'd go for the ride with her till she hit NYC, and, if she'd drop me off at Penn Station, which is under Madison Square Garden, and I'd catch a train home.
she was all for that.
I don't remember much about the ride, just that she seemed like something happened she didn't really want to discuss, and that she figured she could find something to do in LA.
Rita wasn't a bad looking girl, but, Rita wasn't what you would call a "looker" so I don't think that she was really what the movies or TV were looking for. Who knows what she expected to achieve when she got out there.
She obviously made an impression on me, cause here I am, writing about her on my blog. She got in Manhattan, she dropped me off at Penn Station, said goodbye, I said good luck, and i watched her drive off down 5th Ave? whatever the street is out front of MSG, u know, across from Hotel Pennsylvania, said to myself, Hm... better go catch a train home.
Got back to Long Island, walked from the train station to my house, not very far, as I had no vehicle at this point, which is another story for another day, and went to bed, taking some solace is thinking maybe someday I would be "man" enough to make my dreams come true, and, chase my goals or dreams like Rita did. I was envious of her, wished I had the drive to do what she did.
2 or 3 nights later tho, who came into my store? Rita. she hit Philidelphia I believe? I'm not really sure where she had gotten to, but she turned around and went back home. After that, Rita kinda became just another customer to me. It's one thing to SAY your going to do something, and not do it, but to START and not finish is another. I didn't have anything but negative thoughts about her again. Everytime she came into my store aafter that, I tried to avoid her. Even back then subconsciously, I was trying to cut the negatives from my life, and, I just saw her as a failure.
Whatever became of Rita, I don't know. The last time i saw her, she came into the store to sit down and read magazines for a few hours like she usually did, which, didn't bother me in the slightest, at 2am, someone looking for a place to waste some time, for whatever reason, at 2am, they must have a good reason, and since she never stole, never caused a problem, but the last time i saw her she looked about 6 months pregnant.
I never saw Rita again. I hope for her babies sake that she "normalzied". But, like alot of people i've had contact with in my life, I'm glad that Rita was a part of it. Just one of the many people in my past I'll think about everyonce in a while and wonder to myself, what happened to her.
She was nice, but kinda disturbed. But, one thing I learned about while working overnight is that alot of what "normal" people would consider strange, is alot of the customers we had to deal with. Over the years i became desensitized to this, and became kinda "strange" in my own right.
I guess working overnight can do that to you.
Anyways, I have quite a few stories about Rita, but, here is the one i was thinking about just now.
I was working one night, a 10pm-4am shift, which was kinda a "Half" shift, not that we EVER got to take lunch or a break as we were always "Encouraged" by our management NOT to by their reactions to if we DID take a 15 minute break on our 10 hour shift, and some work didn't get done, lest they not sit in the office for 4 hours of their shift... which we witnessed on a regular occaison if we watched the DVR back...
anyways, Rita comes in. Rita was a nice girl, just seemed a little spacy. She comes in, and by this time I had become friendly with her, as I did alot of the customers that had come in during our shift. I was about to get off work, so she had mentioned how exciting that was and asked me if she waited around, if i wanted to come with her.
I was confused and interested, and asked her where she was going.
rita tells me to come out to her car.
On going outside, there was her Station wagon packed full. She had decided 4 or 5 hours earlier that she was going to go out to california to try and make it out there. So she proceeded to pack her station wagon, and, came in to ask me if I wanted to accompany her. why, she didnt really say, but I always assumed that because we had tried to start a band previous, and she knew I was a writer and played some guitar, that I would be an asset.
I honestly never found out why she wanted to go anyways.
I asked her which way she was going, she told me she was looking forward to driving thru NYC and thru chicago and going that way.
So, I was like fuck it, I told her, I'd go for the ride with her till she hit NYC, and, if she'd drop me off at Penn Station, which is under Madison Square Garden, and I'd catch a train home.
she was all for that.
I don't remember much about the ride, just that she seemed like something happened she didn't really want to discuss, and that she figured she could find something to do in LA.
Rita wasn't a bad looking girl, but, Rita wasn't what you would call a "looker" so I don't think that she was really what the movies or TV were looking for. Who knows what she expected to achieve when she got out there.
She obviously made an impression on me, cause here I am, writing about her on my blog. She got in Manhattan, she dropped me off at Penn Station, said goodbye, I said good luck, and i watched her drive off down 5th Ave? whatever the street is out front of MSG, u know, across from Hotel Pennsylvania, said to myself, Hm... better go catch a train home.
Got back to Long Island, walked from the train station to my house, not very far, as I had no vehicle at this point, which is another story for another day, and went to bed, taking some solace is thinking maybe someday I would be "man" enough to make my dreams come true, and, chase my goals or dreams like Rita did. I was envious of her, wished I had the drive to do what she did.
2 or 3 nights later tho, who came into my store? Rita. she hit Philidelphia I believe? I'm not really sure where she had gotten to, but she turned around and went back home. After that, Rita kinda became just another customer to me. It's one thing to SAY your going to do something, and not do it, but to START and not finish is another. I didn't have anything but negative thoughts about her again. Everytime she came into my store aafter that, I tried to avoid her. Even back then subconsciously, I was trying to cut the negatives from my life, and, I just saw her as a failure.
Whatever became of Rita, I don't know. The last time i saw her, she came into the store to sit down and read magazines for a few hours like she usually did, which, didn't bother me in the slightest, at 2am, someone looking for a place to waste some time, for whatever reason, at 2am, they must have a good reason, and since she never stole, never caused a problem, but the last time i saw her she looked about 6 months pregnant.
I never saw Rita again. I hope for her babies sake that she "normalzied". But, like alot of people i've had contact with in my life, I'm glad that Rita was a part of it. Just one of the many people in my past I'll think about everyonce in a while and wonder to myself, what happened to her.
A New Day... A New Idea...
So, I was hopped up on nyquill in the wee hours of last night, or more likely, the wee hours of the morning, and I had this idea to write while I was dropping deuces. Exclusivly. Now, while this may not be a pleasent thought to some, I sometimes have a weak stomach, and, usually I'm in there on my stupidphone reading ESPN or wikiing things I'd like to know more about, or using a nail clipper to trim the excess skin off my thumbs, which, is one of my habits, I pick and rip the skin off my thumbs.
But, I'm an aspiring... "writer", notice the quotes because I can't bring myself to call myself that in a serious manner, and, what better way to write than when I'm engaged in a battle with my colon?
I came to the conclusion of this being a good idea because, well, I moved to Southern California about 2 months ago, 2nd week of November, and things have not gone the way I had expected. I look everyday online for jobs. I apply everyday for jobs. I have yet to hear about a job yet. It's been 2 months, and, no one seems to want to hire me for anything, from retail store management, to retail cashiering, to jobs like glass repair, working at Auto Club and Irwindale Speedways, to looking for, and failing to find away to apply to work a labor type job on a movie/tv set. I need something to keep myself "active" and something to keep my brain "stimulated".
On a side note, my girlfriends dog holly, who was sitting next to me on the couch while I was writing this, got tired of my typing, took one look at me, hopped off the couch, and proceeded to go into the next room. I guess she can smell the epic fail eminating from the laptop and decided, well, fuck this. But thats a-ok. Holly is cool.
Which brings me to the obvious, I'm STARTING this, the set up, the 1st entry, NOT on the porcelain throne. I'm pretty computer savvy with somethings, but I know that I couldn't get this started in the time I'd be in the bathroom for one round. So I guess you could say I'm cheating with this first post, but this really isn't a first post, more of a prologue.
I hope to post everytime I'm dropping a deuce, so, I would assume thats where the "Ewww gross" part will become a factor. Because whenever you read this, it's assured that I'm typing... while on the toilet. But than if it wasn't the case, the "Porcelain Throne Chronicales" wouldn't make ANY sense now would it?
I'm kind of one of those people who starts something like this and doesn't ever seem to keep up with it, but, I guess thats the optimist in me winning out, cause here I am yet AGAIN, starting to write something, knowing about how my past has been.
Anyways, I hope everyone will enjoy the ride, no matter how short or how long it will be.
But, I'm an aspiring... "writer", notice the quotes because I can't bring myself to call myself that in a serious manner, and, what better way to write than when I'm engaged in a battle with my colon?
I came to the conclusion of this being a good idea because, well, I moved to Southern California about 2 months ago, 2nd week of November, and things have not gone the way I had expected. I look everyday online for jobs. I apply everyday for jobs. I have yet to hear about a job yet. It's been 2 months, and, no one seems to want to hire me for anything, from retail store management, to retail cashiering, to jobs like glass repair, working at Auto Club and Irwindale Speedways, to looking for, and failing to find away to apply to work a labor type job on a movie/tv set. I need something to keep myself "active" and something to keep my brain "stimulated".
On a side note, my girlfriends dog holly, who was sitting next to me on the couch while I was writing this, got tired of my typing, took one look at me, hopped off the couch, and proceeded to go into the next room. I guess she can smell the epic fail eminating from the laptop and decided, well, fuck this. But thats a-ok. Holly is cool.
Which brings me to the obvious, I'm STARTING this, the set up, the 1st entry, NOT on the porcelain throne. I'm pretty computer savvy with somethings, but I know that I couldn't get this started in the time I'd be in the bathroom for one round. So I guess you could say I'm cheating with this first post, but this really isn't a first post, more of a prologue.
I hope to post everytime I'm dropping a deuce, so, I would assume thats where the "Ewww gross" part will become a factor. Because whenever you read this, it's assured that I'm typing... while on the toilet. But than if it wasn't the case, the "Porcelain Throne Chronicales" wouldn't make ANY sense now would it?
I'm kind of one of those people who starts something like this and doesn't ever seem to keep up with it, but, I guess thats the optimist in me winning out, cause here I am yet AGAIN, starting to write something, knowing about how my past has been.
Anyways, I hope everyone will enjoy the ride, no matter how short or how long it will be.
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