I Am SO Gonna Drop This Laptop Someday...

Which, wouldn't be a good thing since, after my car payment today, and, after I deposit some christmas money I have been putting off with the assumption I'd spend it if I had it available, which, where the fuck would I spend it, I don't actually GO out anywhere, and proceed to pay my phone bill and a minimum payment on my credit card in 2 weeks or so... I'll be at that point where I need to decide weather I should head back to NY, or keep my fingers crossed that in the next 4 week, which is about what I have saved... enough to get HOME or enough for a months or so bills... I'll locate a job.

I really don't want to borrow money from ANYONE, I feel like somewhat of a failure at the moment anyways, but if I get to the point I'm asking people for money, well, I'm really gonna sit down and start questioning where my life is going.

And like I have mentioned previous, applying for some sort of government assistance is unacceptable to me. While I am applying for jobs EVERYDAY, I am in no way not able to work. I don't feel like with me being able to work, yet, not being able to find a job, that being a valid reason to beg the government for a handout. I'm not one of those people who at this point wouldn't work for federal minimum wage, while I WOULD be embarassed about my station in life cause of it, I'd be proud I was working for what I was getting.

but yeah, the laptop thing, when I get up at times like these, say 1150pm PST to come use the facilities, and my gfs dog Holly is in our room, I kinda have to jungle gym over my sleeping girlfriend to get off the bed on her side, as oppposed to walking around the foot of the bed, because Holly's bed is kinda at the foot of my gfs side. Holly is a good dog, so, I totally respect her, Holly is the best example of a real life dog I've ever come across thats like Courage The Cowardly Dog, that old cartoon. Holly is scared and startled by everything. It took a long while before she warmed up to me, the first time I came to visit my gf while we were not living together, Holly wouldn't come near me, no matter how slow I approached, or, how slowley I came up to her. The second time she started to trust me more, nowadays, she lets me pet her while shes starting to sleep, she follows me around, its a nice feeling. Almost like I can win over anyone with who I am.

Anyways, so, after I jungle gym over my sleeping gf, I grab the laptop from my side of her bed, and, walk into the hallway which is pretty dark, open the bathroom door, and thats where I can just FEEL like I'm gonna drop this thing. CRASH onto the bathroom floor, broken screen. Not good.

But so far, so good I guess LOL.

I'm also kinda worried that it's gonna fall off my lap while I'm typing. Being....chubby... my stomach kinda keeps the laptop very close to the end of my thights, in fact the right side, kinda sits off my right knee a little, the laptop is kind of angled a bit from about an inch inside my left knee. I do this because the fucking mousepad area, or whatever you call that shit on a laptop, I've hit it before while typing stuff, and it fucks up my whole post, I tend to be right hand superior when i type, so this is about the only way to have it sitting on my lap so I don't constantly hit that stupid mousepad area. At least theres some clothes against the wall in front of me that MIGHT cushion the blow if it DID fall off my lap while doing an entry.

Oh, the other day I thought of an interested problem with doing this. I've decided to try and blog everytime I'm sitting in here emptying out, but what happens if I am OUT and I need to drop off the Cleveland Browns at the Super Bowl?!?!?!

What I've decided to do in THIS situation is, send an email to myself from my cellphone from wherever I am going at that moment. Than when I get home, copy the email and enter it as a post HERE, with the Title of the post being the place, date and time... for example... if I happen to be out at the Griffith Park Observatory sightseeing, and, I need to hatch a dirt snake, while I'm in there, I'll do an entry on my cell phone, send it to my email address, and when I get home, it would be like...

Griffith Park Observatory. 1/27/11. 135pm PST

Seems like a fair way to handle that situation wouldn't you think? Plus than, maybe, just MAYBE you will be able to feel like you have visited the same shitters I have, be it famous, IE Griffith Park Observatory, or not, IE the Ralph's Food Store up the street.

Had a nice dinner tonight, went out earlier and bought stuff to make what was prolly one of the most unhealthy lunches ever, Chedder cheese mashed potatoes, sausage, and bacon. yum. at least I bought DIET Dr. K instead of Regular LOL....

Funny side note, a guy I used to be really great friends with, James, we had this thing, because we loved Dr. Pepper so much, everyplace we went, if they had a generic Dr. Pepper, IE Dr. K is Ralph's/Krogers Generic or like i BELIEVE Dr. Thunder is Target or Wal-Marts, we'd buy a 12 pack and make sure we both got to drink a can to see how it held up against Dr. Pepper AND previous Dr. Generics we had tasted. Always a fun little game, cause if one of us went some place out of state that had stores NOT in our area, Dr. K would be a great example, or, I used to visit Erie, PA alot to hang out with my best friend, they had Wegmans, and I would buy a 12 of THEIRS to bring home since Long Island didn't have wegmans, we wound up over the years getting to taste a bunch of different generics.

But, yeah, back to lunch, not very healthy, but oh so freaking good LOL.

My gf when she was hanging out after she got up, shes been sick if you remember for the past week or so, she asked what I was making for dinner.... I felt like tacos, so, went and got stuff for tacos, and, they actually turned out pretty well... what was fun about dinner was, I was all obsessed with trying to make Chocolate Crossants. See, my gf and her sister yesterday made me watch some really horrible movie with Steve Martin, Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin. Something about geriatrics falling in love, I'm So Obsessed? some shit like that, but, at one point, Meryl Streep takes Steve Martin back to what I'll assume was her bakery or resteraunt, IDK, I was busy playing CityVille on facebook while this was on, and, he wanted Chocolate Crossants, so, they made chocolate crossants. Since I like to try new cooking things, I decided, well, I better make sure SOMETHING useful came out of me being subjected to that tripe, so I made chocolate Crossants for dessert.

pretty easy actually, bought one of the Ralph's store brand crossant tubes, a bar of Hershey's milk chocolate symphony and brought those shits home. In addition to those 2, I melted some butter to slather on the crossant pre rolling, put some cinnamon sugar onto it after THAT, than, and the ONE thing I'd change, i put a block of the Hersheys chocolate on the crossant before rolling it. in hindsight, I should've shaved the chocolate onto the whole flat crossant pre rolling, next time i will.... than on 4, added some carmel my gf had in the closet thats an addition to coffee.

very cool, quick little treat. came out very good.

So yeah, I guess it's time to get back to bed, not that I'm actually gonna get to sleep yet, took my 3 sleep aids previous to coming in here, but I'm not feeling it yet, so, I'll go back to watching Bubblegum Crisis 2040 and have my mp3 player ready and waiting for when I do start to feel it.

It was a good day. Well, maybe it WASN'T for all I know, but today, I don't know, I guess just felt a little better, and, I guess thats something right?

Had An Interesting Topic...

...But I seem to have forgotten it during the night. Another day of job hunting on the internetz, getting very tiresome and frustrating and each day goes on. I kinda want to punch 1-800-flowers in the face today, at 645am this morning, they called me. Did a quick search on the internetz when I got up to see who it was, and, others had complained about a telemarkers from 1-800-flowers calling them from that number. Whats annoying is that they lessoffs work out of Brentwood, CA, so, CALLING at 645am THEIR TIME, is calling at 645am my time and waking me up. I don't believe I will be using 1-800-flowers again for this reason.

So, in addition to being a... "Writer", I'm also a..."Cook". I'm actually a lot better at consitently trying to cook than write. From what people tell me, I should cook for people for a living. My gf's mom's husband, whom I respect, has told me on multiple occasions that the dishes I've prepared are better than alot of the high class resteraunts he goes to.

It's flattering.

One thing that I DO feel sets me apart from most cooks in general is, that when I cook something, I love to hear constructive criticizm. Even if the people I am cooking for finds my food phenominal, I always try and find a way to improve on myself.

Like last night, I had made waffles during the day, the box of baking mix was out and saw a recipie on the side for like some apple crumb nut dealee. I decided since we had straberries in the house I'd make it with strawberries and use the banana pudding mix in the closet in the dough to make a strawberry banana dealee.

It didn't come out too bad, but it didn't come out as good as I would've liked. Next time I need to use a second box of pudding mix, as well as some caramel being suggested.

Hm, why did I start talking about that? Oh, its weird to me that people seem to say constantly go with your passions in life. At 35, its not really possible for me to do something like, go to culinary school and become a chef. I'd still need a job. IDK, just weird how life works with some things you know?

Ok, back to job hunting, red cream soda, all in the family, and strawberry/banana dealee.