Mad Fucking Kneeding Went On Tonight

So, yeah, I decided to cook with, yet again, what we had handy in the house. Made some more pizza dough, this time, i made some like Mac and Cheese Bacon Rolled things, and, my gf pulled out a bag of O'Briens Potatoes, whatever the hell that means, potatoes, onions and peppers, how THATS "O'Briens Potatoes" I'll never know. I met Ken O'Brien once, he was pretty cool. So I made a pizza with the side flopped over onto the top kinda pizza with that.

Both came out well, but, the O'Briens Potatoes since I've never used them previous, I didn't really mess around with them and they seemed a bit bland, maybe some seasonings next time, and, I STILL can't seem to get the right amount of Garlic and Italian type seasonings right to get that flavor out of the crust, you know, by mixing it in.

What else went on? My gf and her sister are trying to get me to try out for Jeopardy, I keep saying with how MY luck is, I'll get 5 catagories I don't know NOTHING about, and look liek a complete Doomaas (and I guess by definition a Dubai as well, as, you know, Dubai... I'ts The Same Thing as Doomaas) on network TV.

but we'll see I guess, I mean, whatelse do I have to do during the day?

Not much I can tell you that.

I am going shopping tomorrow for food to cook in the near future. Mad cooking will be going on here.

Other than this, I'm ripping the skin off my thumbs, so, thats kinda exciting... wow I'm mad spacey right now...

A Very Telling Experiance

Yeah, I know, I prolly spelled Experience wrong, but whatever, wanted to relay this story.

So, I wake up feeling like shit, I may have mentioned that my gf and her sister have been sick, both seem fine now, and now I'm sick. I'm not really one to whine and bitch about this, my previous job, in 3 and a half year I missed 2 and 2 half days due to not being able to work, and, the 2 FULL days were due to horrible root canal pain from the previous night.

So, I do what I need to do regardless.

Anyways, I wake up still feeling like shit, take some dayquill. Last 2 I had. So now my options are NOT take any medicine when i need to like 4-6 hours later, or, get off my lazy ass and go get some.

I decided to fiddle about on the net looking for jobs, no luck again today before I went out and got my meds. Hit around 12pm or so, I'm starting to get a little more stuffed, start sucking on the last chloroseptic I had, and, got myself up, put one some clothes, ugh the thought of me, you know, SANS clothes is disgusting to me as well, tell Holly that I'm going around the block to Rite Aid, put my jacket on, start jiggling my keys at Holly, so, she starts barking and doing her little happy holly dog dance deal, we hit the car, put on some R.L. Burnside, head on down the road.

The rite aid near me is only like around the block, so, it's not a long car ride. Anyways, get there, go in, grab a bag of Cinnamon Teddy Bear cookies, u know, they kinda are a knock off of teddy grahams, buck a bag, they make a good little treat for Holly whem shes being a good girl in the room, and head off to grab my medicine, walking down some of the food aisles, wondering if they have what I was looking for to make something for dinner.... they don't, was thinking that after my success with pizza yesterday I'd make pepperoni pinwheels or something to that effect, but no mozzerella and not pepperoni at Rite Aid, head off to the cough and cold aisle, the brand Nyquill and Day Quill were onsale, but out of stock, so, I got me a 20/40 dayquill nyquill split and a box of 20 dayquill. Rite Aid brand, even off sale and the brand onsale, the Rite Aid was a buck cheaper. Start walking out of the aisle and remember that I had finished my last throat losenge before I came out, so, I went and bought the rite aid version of that, hey, 3.15 compared to 5.99.... thats almost a gallon of gas!!!!

Anyways, get to the front, and, whose ringing me up? The store Manager. I found this odd cause when I worked for that heartless drug chain, it WASN'T Rite Aid BTW, the DAY Crew consisted of.... 3 cashiers... 2-3 MANAGERS (combination of store manager an assistants) and/or a head cashier and shift supervisor... a photo tech... a cosmetics person, and most days a Hallmark person......

I look around and realize, this man is here ALL BY HIMSELF. Dudes, the STORE MANAGER was the ONLY one working in the front store part of this Rite Aid....

When would a better oppertunity present itself to ask about a job than RIGHT NOW....

I have asked previous at this location, as 10+ years retail pharmacy experience you would think would get me a job, the people have always been nice and given me what are REAL excuses as to why that particular location WASN'T hiring, I even left my resume and asked if they would call if they DID have an opening...

Anyways, I asked the Store Manager about a job, and, he explained that the company isn't allowing him to hire any new employees at the moment. I kinda chuckled and said that it sure looks like he needed the help as he seemed to be doing everything in the store at the moment... good natured kinda guy he chuckled again, and explained the company won't even give him the hours he needs to put people on where needed at the moment either.

I like that the people out here have good attitudes, if this was a New York store manager, and, I've worked directly with some, they would be bitching up a storm they didn't have a head cashier or shift supervisor to respond to casher needs, and whine and cry and bitch and than not do ANYTHING but sit in the office sending text messages. One girl I used to work with in particular used to do this during the day. When she had no help, she'd just sit in the office and decided that if she had to walk back and forth to anwser employee problems, she wasn't gonna do nothing but sit on her ass in the office the whole shift. I thought she was nice, she was counted as a friend when she worked with me on my shift, but she went to the day and that was that.

Anyways, thats the kind of way people in NY deal with that... in Cali it sure seems people are more willing to do what they need to do, as opposed to throwing a bitchy hissyfit and doing NOTHING.... I felt bad for this guy, but at least he had a smile on his face....

Sadly, that's the situation I seem to be in out here... the guy CLEARLY needs the help, be it hours for current employees OR to hire someone to work DURING the day, but I guess for whatever reason, business being slow? not enough profits? whatever, the company doesn't allow them too do what needs to be done.

Leads me to think that maybe upper management in Rite Aid might have taken some hints from the way the heartless drug chain I used to work for does business, and to how they treat their employees, which is a shame, cause that Rite Aid is FULL of amazingly wonderful and helpful employees. It makes me proud when I get one of those printed recipts with the survey on the bottom, to take 5 or 6 minutes to call in and do it, especially when the SPECIFIC store is amazing and the people there care, even if it sure seems like the companies upper management may have forgotten to.

Dubai... It's The Same Thing as Doomaas...

I am so hopped up on myquill right now, that I can't stop laughing at this other old adage from my friend and ex coworker Matt, you remember him, the one who was always asking the age old question... "Is It Doody Or DooDEES?, and, it's prolly not a good thing that I am laughing, I'm not yet passed out ready cause of the nyquill, and, I'm just chilling in bed with my gf, watching a horrible movie called Backwoods with Haylie Duff, while trying to see how fast I can finish a game of solitare on the computer, my record so far? 137 seconds, and, it's like 1230am or so, and, my gf and her sister both have to work tomorrow, and, me being the bum I am at this moment in time, I don't, so, I can't very well keep laughing and waking them up, especially since my gfs sister has threatened me on multiple occasions if she had heard this...

Me: Hey, have you heard?
GF's Sister: Heard what?
Me: That Dubai... is the same thing as Doomaas?!!?
GF's Sister: yeah, I've heard that way more than I would've liked, and, you're just lucky I worked all day or I'd get up and smack you right in your face.

So, if I awoke the residents of my house that are sleeping by laughing at something like, Dubai... It's The Same Thing As Doomaas...

I'd prolly be sleeping in my car tonight... which I guess wouldn't be SO bad, since, while it SEEMS chilly out, I could get away with the state of mind, I COULD still be in NY and its like 20 and snowing there....

But back to this adage....

I don't really know where Matt came up with this, nor do I have ANY sort of clue what the fuck that shit means, but, I DO KNOW, I get a chuckle out of it everytime I hear it in my head, since, well, it's MATTS voice in my head saying it... even more funny is that when I SAY it, I don't hear MY voice, I hear MATTS voice... I guess thats more weird that funny tho, because, I should be hearing my voice. You know I bet I know how THAT conversation would go...

Me: Dubai... its the same thing as Doomaas....
Gf's Sister: dude, shut the fuck up.
Me: Did I say that?
Gf's Sister: Uh.... yeah...
Me: Weird, I hear Matt's voice when I'm saying it, even tho the words are coming from my mouth. See I KNOW this, and yet STILL, I hear Matt's voice?
Gf's Sister: Yeah, I don't know who Matt is, but your really strange

So yet I add another question for the ages.... What the fuck does that mean? I mean, Matt, when he started saying this, I believe he heard the word "Dubai" on the radio, without actually HEARING what the story was about... It prolly went something like, Matt was fiddling about on his iPhone, and, wasn;t hearing the radio, just, i guess.... imagine the teacher from Peanuts, you know, the Charlie Brown and Snoopy cartoons? Well, imagine that for 5 or 6 miutes... than say Dubai... than 5 or 6 more minutes of the Peanuts teacher....

Than, we got to an area to do some work, and... BLAM...

Matt: Hey, Dubai... its the same thing as doomaas!!!!!

rolls off his tounge.

I know when ASKED about Dubai, Matt didn't have ANY clue about what the hell Dubai actually was, in fact, I kinda doubt that Matt to this day, knows what Dubai ACTUALLY is, THIS being the ONE fact I know about this old adage leads me to rule out, 100%, that he isn't saying the people of or the country of Dubai ITSELF are Doomaas'. Anyone that knows Matt would agree 100% with me....

So, subtracting this, what the fuck does that mean?

Maybe once I die, and, if I'm lucky enough, I'll be let in on the secrets of the unverse, one of which I truly and sincerely hope, is the meaning of...Dubai... It's The Same Thing As Doomaas.

Dick Laurant Is Dead

Fairly successful day you could say. Didn't really get to sleep as much as I would've liked, but, in lieu of having to go to the store, I proceeded to make Pizza's with topping we had in the house.

Nothing like a Sloppy Joe Pizza.... while I'm sure that sounds.... not good, it turned out pretty great I thought, as well as the other one, made using leftover spaghetti sauce, and chedder cheese, montery jack and a little "nacho mix", with some bacon popped on for good measure.

The only thing I need to do different with my crust is add more seasonings. I'm the kinda guy who likes to have flavored crust. I mashed in a little Slow roasted california garlic and some italian seasoning into the dough, but, I couldn't taste it. Next time i'll prolly use more than the teaspoon of garlic and 2 teaspoons of italian seasoning that I did. Hm, maybe I'll start another blog of recipies that I've tried and think are a success. Not that I'd be doing that cause I'm a narcissitic asshole, but mainly cause, well, I write my recepies down, and have them in a Cinncinatti Reds folder I bought at the dollar store, and my handwriting is attrocious. My gf today asked me if I took the time to write down the recipie for that Banana Cake I made the other day, and, I informed her that I did, and I kinda thought typing them out might be a better way to go, when she was trying to read "LARD" but it looked like... "CANL"? whatever she saw. I could than add the link to the recipie I was talking about in case anyone who actually reads this wanted to try what I was making.

In fairness, and, in full revolation here, I don't really MAKE my own recepies, as much as I feel I'm improving, well, maybe not "IMPROVING" but, taking an exsisting thing, and, modifying it to be something I think may be good.

The Banana Cake is a good example, I didnt MAKE the "cake" mix, I used a store bought box of Dunkin' Hines.... So, IDK what the fuck you would call that, other than, Julia Child would prolly feel like I was the same thing to cooking as Julie Powell was. From what I've read about Julie Powell tho, the IRL Julie Powell, Julia Child might have a bit more respect for me... but, shes dead, and no one cares about what I'm writing, so, we'll never know.

But, maybe I'll do this, it might give me an excuse to type up the "J SuhPees" I'll call them, at the moment, cause, we'll, I'm kinda starting to feel my nyquill, and, my mind doesn't want to work, even tho I'm telling it to.... but this way they ARE typed out somewhere if I need them again, and, if people want to try some of them, hey, they are here to try. I'm all about doing the best I can with what I have in front of me, and, I feel I do a very good job of combining food stuffs. My gf and her sister, and their dogs seems to always be saying YUM when I cook.

So yeah, now I have a project for tomorrow when I finish browsing for jobs.

On that front, I just read a depressing article on the 10 best and 10 WORST cities in the US to get a job. the SECOND worst? Riverside, California. It said there are 12 applicants to every ONE job there. While I'm not in Riverside, I'm DAYM close.... so it's mighty despressing to know thats actually how BAD it is out here.

A friend of mine, Timmy, asked me today if I wanted him to take a look at my resume, as he is good at that sort of thing. I couldn't be more thankful that he offered. Maybe there IS something in my resume that is turning people off. I just don't understand how, even with a 12:1 ratio of applicants to jobs, and the FACT I'd have no issue taking something lesser than what I want to do, that I haven't gotten a call yet. You would think companies would want stability with their employees, especially in this job market, and, the fact in 19 years of working, I've had 3 jobs, one for over 3 years, one for over 10, and than again for more than 3 years, I would be the perfect candidate for any job I'm OVER qualified for, or even REMOTELY qualified for. Before coming in to drop off the Browns at the Super Bowl, and SPEAKING of the Browns, how about that Alex Mack Touchdown in the Pro Bowl today?!?!? MAD awesome, I sent him a copy of my resume. I hope when he gets home tomorrow from work, and, gets some time, he can take a look at it, and, maybe spruce it up some. Maybe it will help. I hope it does.

Anyways, got mad shopping to do this week, off to the really great dollar store for basic needs that its ridiculous to pay almost 5 or 6 times for at the regular store, and, than to the regular store for the things that NEED to be "brand" type stuff. I can respect that people have things they just HAVE to have a brand thing for... I'm like that with my toothpaste for example. I have sensitive gums, so I use Sensodyne. My gums bleed if I use any other toothpaste. Which reminds me, I need to send my dentist something towards the bill I left NY with. Don't want him flying to California and ripping out the fake teeth he was nice enough to put in!!!!

I promise I'll get up some of these recipies, er, "J SuhPees" I've talked about in this blog and link them. Banana Cake and Pizza are 2, not that the Pizza one is acceptable to me yet. Gotta get the right amount of spices in the dough.

There was MAD fucking Kneeding going on in this house today... yeah.... your jealous.

Back In For Another Round

Som what should I write about... don't really have too much on my mind at the moment. Just been fiddling about on facebook playing Madden Superstars and was about to play CityVille before I got a attack of the shittz.

My parents are awesome. "attack of the shits (now shittz)" was one of the sayings my dad used to say when he was getting stomach cramps.

Another was "a case of the ass" when you were feeling antsy or couldn't sit still. Its funny how things we hear so much growing up stick with us.

Just like, I remember this one time, my parents always made it a point not to swear in front of me, its one of the things my mother can't seem to grasp these days, why I swear as much as I do since they NEVER sweared in front of me, nar on a random occasion they would lose their cool with someone or something. Anyways, this one time, we were coming back from upstate NY where we used to spend every weekend when I was growing up, halfway between the towns of Calicoon and Hancock. I miss that, but anyways, we were coming back from upstate, and, I'm pretty sure it was memorial day weekend, simply because, and I don't know if they still do this, but, on one of the bridges we had to cross, they had a GIANT ass American flag hanging from the entrance from the Jersey side to the NY side. I believe it was the George Washington Bridge. But, it always seemed like there were lessoffs driving whenever we were driving home, not much has changed, out here in California, these people don't seem to realize that their vehicles come equipted with fucking DIRECTIONALS... anyways, same kinda thing....

This one time, my dad got cut off, and, I believe it was fairly close and he yelled "Cunt Lapper" at the top of his vocal range at this lessoff that cut him off. 20 years or so later, I'm still finding that more funny than offensive. I don't know, maybe I'm fucked up.

Man, the things we remember huh? Just like, I'm sure that not EVERYTIME we passed under or could see that huge American flag, but it just seems like it NOW, but, I just remember everytime we were passing it, or could see it, Bruce Springsteen's song "Glory Days" was on the radio while we were near it.

Courtney Cocks was in that video was she not? Man, if so, she is fucking OLD.

I really miss going upstate. My parents own a piece of property, 13 acres or so, that they always wanted to build a vacation home on. They never got the chance. I had hoped one day I would be able to build a vacation home on it, but, with me leaving my pot of gold job, and, living 3000 miles away now, doesn't seem like it would be practical to do it now. It's a shame. It was in the middle of nowhere, and, definetely a great way to spend a relaxing weekend away from the hustle and bustle of society. Maybe one day i'll get to look into something like that out here. California is so large, I'm sure there is places like that here.

Maybe one day.

Not Too Much To Say This AM

Just figured I'd check in while seeing which side of "doody or dooDEES" I'm gonna fall on this morning.

Well, it finally happened, after 2 weeks of my gf being sick, and, me seemingly immune to to, I can feel myself getting ill. Heads a little wonky, my nose is a little stuffed, coughing up a little phlegm.... it's my own fault really, had been taking nyquill to make sure I DIDN'T get sick, and, I stopped taking nyquill a few days ago and started taking that Sleep Aid. Prolly wasn't my best decision, as not only was it helping me sleep, I feel like it was preemptivly stopping me from being sick. Also prolly not a good idea? Sleeping with the blanket my gf has been coughing on since shes been sick covering my face, which, is what I did mid sleep and didn't realize it, as when I woke up to go leave a piss in the middle of the night, I had pulled the blanket over my face.

Hm, more testing going on at Auto Club Speedway this morning. I wonder whats going on over there. I'd suggest that most of the teams are down in Daytona getting ready for the start of the NASCAR season, so, it makes me wonder what kind of "secret" testing is going on there!

Still kinda bummed about missing the K+N All Star Showdown at Toyota Speedway in Irwindale last night. Oddly, I don't feel like Disc's 5+6 (while great) of Bubblegum Crisis 2040, and, hitting the hay at 9pm or so was a fair trade off. Have to go see how it turned out on NASCAR.com. They had a 5 or 6 minutes video of highlights of Friday. I hope I didn't miss Travis Pastrana winning his first stock car race in his first try.

Anyways, back to sleep, sans cough blanket, and PLUS some dayquill.

When Life Gives You Lemons...

You make lemonade. Or so they say, whomever the fuck 'THEY" is... I wonder if "THEY" is related to "THEM!", you know, the giant ants in that awesome 50's movie?! If "THEM!" is giant ants, maybe "THEY" are giant mutated ultra smart lab rats, who believe in jesus, as, that adage is pretty optimistic, and one thing Jesus was was optimistic. For rats to be saying stuff like that, I feel a healthy belief in Jesus, parred with lab experiments by the government to make them smart, well, you can just finish my imagination from there.

Anyways, that adage came to mind last night cause, I had, for 2 months now, pretty much like the first or second week I had moved out here, wanted to go hit up that race at Toyota Speedway in Irwindale. I told my gf about it, she agreed. But with her being sick this week, and with her struggling to get into work yesterday, I decided, ANY time outside wouldn't be helpful for her, as, there was a fan walk at 12 to meet the drivers and get autographs, than at 2 I believe they started the qualifying and the races started at 4. Not 100% sure, but you get the picture.

Side note, I'm like 2 miles from Auto Club Speedway, thats the 2 mile track that NASCAR has races at, and something must be going on testing, cause, while I"m in the bathroom, I can hear cars tear assing around that track. It reminds me of home, cause, on quiet days, and especially at night, I could hear the LIRR (Long Island Rail Road) trains. Actually alot more soothing that you would think.

But, so I decided Weds that it prolly wouldn't be a good idea that my gf be outside at all as shes getting over her flu. Apparently that was the wrong way to think, because last night I was informed that she was spending all morning and into the afternoon... OUTSIDE fixing sprinklers. The amount of time she would've been outside for the races I planned to see TWO MONTHS AGO (not counting being in a heated car if need be), she wound up doing something. I mean I COULD be wrong here, but, if the option was to fix spinklers, or to go to a race I asked her to go to 2 months ago.... shouldn't the race have won?

How this pertains to my Lemons comment, well, I was kinda upset, but, that I realized that this gave me the oppertunity to come on here and discuss some past sporting events I have been to, specifically with a friend of a long time, Shelley, and, her wonderful husband, whom I have also counted as a good friend since I met him.

Shelley worked with me at the heartless drug chain, Shelley is a good person, shes the one, it seemed to me, that actually CARED when speaking about the people I worked with her position, the other, we'll call him, HearLess, didn't give shit #1. Meaning, Shelley would bust her ass all night to make sure everything got done, would stay late to make sure the following shift would be able to understand everything, while HearLess, he slept on AVERAGE 4 hours a night on his shift, as if THAT wasn't breaking the rules ENOUGH, he'd leave his highly sensitive area OPEN when he was in the bathroom or the breakroom or whatever, luckily, no customer ever took advantage of this, well, as far as I know. Shelley is a good caring person, which made it all the more awesome that when she started dating Andy, her husband, he turned out to be such a great guy, on top of that, Andy is a Marine. Don't want to say EX, since, while I haven't served in the armed forces, I think that "Once a marine, always a marine" is a mantra they live by. So, if you read this, stop now, and say thank you to Andy for taking the time out of his life, to serve and protect our wonderful country. Anyone that does that is a hero. On a side note, its pretty cool cause one of the places Andy served is the home area of my gf's mom's family.

Back to it tho. I knew Andy was kick ass from the first time we met, and was of course excited that my friend found someone like that. I enjoy when my friends find kick ass people to date. Shelley and Andy are NY Mets fans, and thats one of the (many) things they bonded over. Myself, I used to play baseball, and, while I find baseball kinda boring to watch, nothing made me happier than going once a year with Shelley and Andy to watch the NY Mets play my favorite team, Cinnicinnati Reds. For me, its always a good time and fun to spend time with my friends, and when its something we both enjoy, it makes it all that much more fun.

So, we used to pick a game to go to once a year, most of the time we'd hit up the afternoon game, whenever they played the Reds, even if the games seemed to land in the middle of the week, one of the games was early. There is many stories that I get a chuckle out of everytime I think about going to these games, heres a few.

One of the times we went, the Reds had a hot new rookie playing, Ryan Freel, whom since that time has labored in the minors, playing for independant league teams, which is funny, cause Shelley and Andy are big Long Island Ducks fans, and one of those games I went to with them, he was playing I believe, anyways, Ryan comes up to bat, and all of a sudden you hear a gravely voiced woman screaming "Lets go Freel!!!" Hey, works for me, I'm a reds fan, but, why it's funny is cause we're at Shea Stadium, the home of the Mets, and pretty much its quiet when he's coming up to bat, so I'd suggest the whole stadium could hear her.... Side note, thankfully the Y Mets fans aren't complete fucking douchebags like Yankees fans or NY Ranger fans, cause if you did something like root for another team at their stadiums, the fans acost you, and not to your FACE mind you, but, by throwing things at your BACK or ganging up on your with other fans.... trust me I know, I went to see the St Louis Blues play the Rangers.... and I'm a St Louis Blues fan.... but thats a story for another time. But, what made this funny was, the woman was so drunk THAN.... but all game she just continued to get drunker, and drunker... and louder and louder.... it went from being like... ok shes rooting for him, to being kind of obnoxious, to being so ridiculously laughable that we weren't the only ones laughing.... ah, crazy drunks at the ball park.

Another time, actually both the next 2 stories, we were on the third base line, first row with an Aisle in front of us, so we could lean on the railing if we choose to, or put our feet up without really bothering anyone....

But, we're watching the game, and, low and behold, here comes a foul ball, kind of a looper, Andy, glove at ready is watching it, but, it fell short of where we were sitting, and, bounced on the aisle in front of us.... all you see is this gaggle of people go DIVING for this foul ball all over the concrete aisle, bodies piling up.... one of these people, an asian man, looking like a tourist, but, he had, what at that point, looked like a top of the line digital camera... not one of those small rectangle/square type ones mind you, you know those ones in 2011 that look like the 35MM cameras of yore, with removable and changeable lens and such? one of THOSE hanging from his neck.... and, when that foul ball came into the vicinty of the aisle... he must have forgotten that he had that thing on his neck, cause he dove into that pile for that ball like it was nobodys business.... can't say for sure here, but the way he was looking at that camera afterwards, well, seems to me it was broken.... the worst part is? He didn't come away with that foul ball.... poor guy.

Which leads me to my next story, if it's one thing people suggest when going to the ball park, but, doesn't seem like most people follow it.... when your there PAY ATTENTION!!! We're chilling relaxing and such, and, here comes another foul ball our way.... again, we're on the railing, aisle in front of us, and an old man, sitting in the last row before the aisle, his seat back is up against the concrete of the aisle, not paying attention to the game, but chatting away...... foul ball.... hard line drive... hits him right in the shoulder.... now the reaction is what was the best part, it hummed at this guy, hit him HARD in the shoulder, and, when it hit him, it kinda just startled him, he was looking around like... "huh? wtf?" ...... it took a good 4 or 5 seconds before he realized what happened, and, just if the dumbfounded look on his old face wasn't enough, he pulled a child like maneouver.... after realizing what happened.... he than started acting like he was in pain... needless to say the first minute or 2, he kinda was so dumbfounded, that it was laughable.... but, like a child when they get hurt, he didn't start ACTING like he was hurt till he noticed people looking at him, and until people started asking him if he was alright. My opinion is, that he noticed most of the people laughing at him for being a dumbass and not paying attention, and then decided to act like he was hurt so they people laughing at him would feel bad they were laughing. Needless to say, I'm kind of an asshole, so I continued to laugh, and, am getting a huge chuckle out of thinking about his face that day.... what a lessoff.

One of my favs tho is one year we get to the park and start looking for our seats. Shelley and Andy always bought the tickets when they first went on sale, mostly cause I'm a scatterbrain and would forget, so, thankfully when you have friends that aren't stupid like you, they remember these things.... so, we're walking around Shea, looking for our gate and such, and, were sitting just about where the seats end above the bullpen at Shea... We take our seats, and, what do we see? Shelley sitting down, and having to deal with having a HUGE pole between her legs all game.... her seat was LITERALLY directly behind the foul pole.... had to laugh everytime I looked over to talk to her that day.

One of the best parts about moving out here was that I got to spend alot more time specifically with Shelley and Andy before I left. It was awesome, cause, a few months before I left they finally took the big step of buying a house, and, I got to help them move... while they were thanking ME the whole time, it's really more of a me thanking them situation, there is nothing better than spending time helping people you love, and getting to just spend TIME with them. I could keep going on and on and on, but, my asscheeks are getting numb...

So, when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade, as my friends the mutated smart Jesus freak rats would say, while I feel cheated I won't get to see that race today, live OR on TV, as they don't have the Speed Channel on their cable package, it's fine. Getting to think about my friends, Shelley and Andy, make it ok. So many funny stories, so little time.

Contrary To Popular Belief....

...trying to sleep while you have a knee shoved into your chest or lower back is NOT comfortable.

Which leads me to what I was thinking about writing about in this glorious entry of the Porcelain Throne Chronicles.

I don't like being touched. Like, I have an aversion to just people touching me. I don't really know what it is, an invasion of personal space or whatever, but, I just can't stand it.

It's not really as severe as my fear or heights or balloons, but, it just freaks me out.

Whats kinda funny about this is that whenever you tell someone this in passing, or, mention the personal space thing, whats the first thing anyone wants to do upon hearing this? Invade your personal space.

It's kinda funny because it reminds me of a Chris Rock bit I believe, where he talks about when people have glasses they always want to "try them on" or some shit, but, you see someone in a wheelchair, you don't proceed to ask them if they can sit on the curb for a bit while you take their wheelchair for a test drive do you? I mean, I kinda do, my Aunt last year needed surgery, and, was confined to a wheelchair most of the time to get around, but, whenever I went to visit, if my mom and I were visiting in the common area, and, my Aunt was sitting in one of the common area chairs instead of her wheelchair, I would hop in and wheel around for a bit. Always lots of fun... BUT, its isn't like I dumped her out and went for a spin while she was screaming in pain on the floor.

Anyways, yeah, thats exactly what people want to do!!! Like, I don't get violent or pushy, when people start to approach me I kinda freeze up, and kinda deal with whatever happens. Funny guy I used to work with, Joe, real comedian, always went around grunting like Tim Allen, when I was in the woodshop I always oddly kinda felt like I was on the set of "Tool Time", as soon as he heard this about me, everytime he saw me for the last 2 or 3 months at my job, everychance he got, he was always hugging me. It's pretty funny when I'm writing this to think about it, cause, I'm getting a good laugh thinking about it, but yeah LOL, when accosted, I must look like a deer in headlights.

But, why is it that people do feel this need to invade personal space, when they know its unwelcome?!?!? This is actually one of the reasons I'm becoming fond of my gfs dog Holly, she seems to have the same aversion. Like, Holly likes to get pet, and likes to get some attention, but, if shes laying down, and, relaxing, and, someone starts to walk over to her to pet her, or, even if you just walk past, she gets this "Deer in headlights" look on her face, shes SO horrified that she might get accosted. It's quite funny, so, yeah, like I said, it must be funny to watch me when someone looks like they are gonna touch me... weird too, I don't really know how or when this started to become a phobia to me. I used to spend 3 or 4 days a week in NYC when I was younger going to General Admission shows, and people bumping up against me and such never bothered me like 10 or 15 years ago. Odd how brains and bodies change over the course of ones lifetime. Kinda like how I used to HATE coffee... than started drinking it... now I drink it black with a little sugar, if you told me that when I was 18, I'd have gotten a good hearty laugh.

Ok, best get ready for the weekend. Sadly with my gf being sick, she did go to work today tho, I feel that going to Toyota Speedway in Irwindale for the K+N All Star Showdown tomorrow isn't an option for tomorrow. Which kinda sucks, I wanted to see how Travis Pastrana did in his stick car debut. Oh well, guess we'll see what the weekend brings. I'll prolly sit around and do nothing, as, I had plans and they followed thru, and, doing anything else would be kinda offensive don't you think? If I had plans to do something, I should be able to do what I want, which will prolly be fatting around watching TV.

At least its lunchtime!!!

I Am SO Gonna Drop This Laptop Someday...

Which, wouldn't be a good thing since, after my car payment today, and, after I deposit some christmas money I have been putting off with the assumption I'd spend it if I had it available, which, where the fuck would I spend it, I don't actually GO out anywhere, and proceed to pay my phone bill and a minimum payment on my credit card in 2 weeks or so... I'll be at that point where I need to decide weather I should head back to NY, or keep my fingers crossed that in the next 4 week, which is about what I have saved... enough to get HOME or enough for a months or so bills... I'll locate a job.

I really don't want to borrow money from ANYONE, I feel like somewhat of a failure at the moment anyways, but if I get to the point I'm asking people for money, well, I'm really gonna sit down and start questioning where my life is going.

And like I have mentioned previous, applying for some sort of government assistance is unacceptable to me. While I am applying for jobs EVERYDAY, I am in no way not able to work. I don't feel like with me being able to work, yet, not being able to find a job, that being a valid reason to beg the government for a handout. I'm not one of those people who at this point wouldn't work for federal minimum wage, while I WOULD be embarassed about my station in life cause of it, I'd be proud I was working for what I was getting.

but yeah, the laptop thing, when I get up at times like these, say 1150pm PST to come use the facilities, and my gfs dog Holly is in our room, I kinda have to jungle gym over my sleeping girlfriend to get off the bed on her side, as oppposed to walking around the foot of the bed, because Holly's bed is kinda at the foot of my gfs side. Holly is a good dog, so, I totally respect her, Holly is the best example of a real life dog I've ever come across thats like Courage The Cowardly Dog, that old cartoon. Holly is scared and startled by everything. It took a long while before she warmed up to me, the first time I came to visit my gf while we were not living together, Holly wouldn't come near me, no matter how slow I approached, or, how slowley I came up to her. The second time she started to trust me more, nowadays, she lets me pet her while shes starting to sleep, she follows me around, its a nice feeling. Almost like I can win over anyone with who I am.

Anyways, so, after I jungle gym over my sleeping gf, I grab the laptop from my side of her bed, and, walk into the hallway which is pretty dark, open the bathroom door, and thats where I can just FEEL like I'm gonna drop this thing. CRASH onto the bathroom floor, broken screen. Not good.

But so far, so good I guess LOL.

I'm also kinda worried that it's gonna fall off my lap while I'm typing. Being....chubby... my stomach kinda keeps the laptop very close to the end of my thights, in fact the right side, kinda sits off my right knee a little, the laptop is kind of angled a bit from about an inch inside my left knee. I do this because the fucking mousepad area, or whatever you call that shit on a laptop, I've hit it before while typing stuff, and it fucks up my whole post, I tend to be right hand superior when i type, so this is about the only way to have it sitting on my lap so I don't constantly hit that stupid mousepad area. At least theres some clothes against the wall in front of me that MIGHT cushion the blow if it DID fall off my lap while doing an entry.

Oh, the other day I thought of an interested problem with doing this. I've decided to try and blog everytime I'm sitting in here emptying out, but what happens if I am OUT and I need to drop off the Cleveland Browns at the Super Bowl?!?!?!

What I've decided to do in THIS situation is, send an email to myself from my cellphone from wherever I am going at that moment. Than when I get home, copy the email and enter it as a post HERE, with the Title of the post being the place, date and time... for example... if I happen to be out at the Griffith Park Observatory sightseeing, and, I need to hatch a dirt snake, while I'm in there, I'll do an entry on my cell phone, send it to my email address, and when I get home, it would be like...

Griffith Park Observatory. 1/27/11. 135pm PST

Seems like a fair way to handle that situation wouldn't you think? Plus than, maybe, just MAYBE you will be able to feel like you have visited the same shitters I have, be it famous, IE Griffith Park Observatory, or not, IE the Ralph's Food Store up the street.

Had a nice dinner tonight, went out earlier and bought stuff to make what was prolly one of the most unhealthy lunches ever, Chedder cheese mashed potatoes, sausage, and bacon. yum. at least I bought DIET Dr. K instead of Regular LOL....

Funny side note, a guy I used to be really great friends with, James, we had this thing, because we loved Dr. Pepper so much, everyplace we went, if they had a generic Dr. Pepper, IE Dr. K is Ralph's/Krogers Generic or like i BELIEVE Dr. Thunder is Target or Wal-Marts, we'd buy a 12 pack and make sure we both got to drink a can to see how it held up against Dr. Pepper AND previous Dr. Generics we had tasted. Always a fun little game, cause if one of us went some place out of state that had stores NOT in our area, Dr. K would be a great example, or, I used to visit Erie, PA alot to hang out with my best friend, they had Wegmans, and I would buy a 12 of THEIRS to bring home since Long Island didn't have wegmans, we wound up over the years getting to taste a bunch of different generics.

But, yeah, back to lunch, not very healthy, but oh so freaking good LOL.

My gf when she was hanging out after she got up, shes been sick if you remember for the past week or so, she asked what I was making for dinner.... I felt like tacos, so, went and got stuff for tacos, and, they actually turned out pretty well... what was fun about dinner was, I was all obsessed with trying to make Chocolate Crossants. See, my gf and her sister yesterday made me watch some really horrible movie with Steve Martin, Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin. Something about geriatrics falling in love, I'm So Obsessed? some shit like that, but, at one point, Meryl Streep takes Steve Martin back to what I'll assume was her bakery or resteraunt, IDK, I was busy playing CityVille on facebook while this was on, and, he wanted Chocolate Crossants, so, they made chocolate crossants. Since I like to try new cooking things, I decided, well, I better make sure SOMETHING useful came out of me being subjected to that tripe, so I made chocolate Crossants for dessert.

pretty easy actually, bought one of the Ralph's store brand crossant tubes, a bar of Hershey's milk chocolate symphony and brought those shits home. In addition to those 2, I melted some butter to slather on the crossant pre rolling, put some cinnamon sugar onto it after THAT, than, and the ONE thing I'd change, i put a block of the Hersheys chocolate on the crossant before rolling it. in hindsight, I should've shaved the chocolate onto the whole flat crossant pre rolling, next time i will.... than on 4, added some carmel my gf had in the closet thats an addition to coffee.

very cool, quick little treat. came out very good.

So yeah, I guess it's time to get back to bed, not that I'm actually gonna get to sleep yet, took my 3 sleep aids previous to coming in here, but I'm not feeling it yet, so, I'll go back to watching Bubblegum Crisis 2040 and have my mp3 player ready and waiting for when I do start to feel it.

It was a good day. Well, maybe it WASN'T for all I know, but today, I don't know, I guess just felt a little better, and, I guess thats something right?

Had An Interesting Topic...

...But I seem to have forgotten it during the night. Another day of job hunting on the internetz, getting very tiresome and frustrating and each day goes on. I kinda want to punch 1-800-flowers in the face today, at 645am this morning, they called me. Did a quick search on the internetz when I got up to see who it was, and, others had complained about a telemarkers from 1-800-flowers calling them from that number. Whats annoying is that they lessoffs work out of Brentwood, CA, so, CALLING at 645am THEIR TIME, is calling at 645am my time and waking me up. I don't believe I will be using 1-800-flowers again for this reason.

So, in addition to being a... "Writer", I'm also a..."Cook". I'm actually a lot better at consitently trying to cook than write. From what people tell me, I should cook for people for a living. My gf's mom's husband, whom I respect, has told me on multiple occasions that the dishes I've prepared are better than alot of the high class resteraunts he goes to.

It's flattering.

One thing that I DO feel sets me apart from most cooks in general is, that when I cook something, I love to hear constructive criticizm. Even if the people I am cooking for finds my food phenominal, I always try and find a way to improve on myself.

Like last night, I had made waffles during the day, the box of baking mix was out and saw a recipie on the side for like some apple crumb nut dealee. I decided since we had straberries in the house I'd make it with strawberries and use the banana pudding mix in the closet in the dough to make a strawberry banana dealee.

It didn't come out too bad, but it didn't come out as good as I would've liked. Next time I need to use a second box of pudding mix, as well as some caramel being suggested.

Hm, why did I start talking about that? Oh, its weird to me that people seem to say constantly go with your passions in life. At 35, its not really possible for me to do something like, go to culinary school and become a chef. I'd still need a job. IDK, just weird how life works with some things you know?

Ok, back to job hunting, red cream soda, all in the family, and strawberry/banana dealee.

Bloggin' N Bathroomin' Before Breakfast

So, woke up a little while ago, looked around for some jobs, nothing really I'm qualified to apply for. It's times like these I have to say I wish I would've listened to my parents when I was a kid and stayed in school and got a degree. I prolly wouldn't be out of work right now.

I did go up to Carl's Jr/Green Burrito the other day (another one of those places like Ralph's with extremely excellent customer service) and I saw a Costco up there, so, I'm planning on applying there today. I'm really dragging my feet on the temp agency thing cause I'd really like to have a job with benefits. My gf, the job she has now is thru a temp agency, and, she doesn't have benefits. It's one of the things I miss about working for that heartless drug chain, is that I actually had benefits and the ability to go to the doctor if need be.

So, yeah, will prolly apply at that Costco, and maybe I can get a job there, it's about the only retail store I haven't applied to within 10 mile radius of where I'm living now.

After I finish taking care of business (my colon's workin' overtime) I'm gonna prolly make some breakfast. Looking forward to some sausage and maybe some pancakes. My gf's mother bought her and her sister a new instant grill kinda thing for christmas. It's pretty awesome, the problem is the company is kinda stupid. It's on a decline from back to front, so when you cook stuff, the grease and oils flows OFF the grill into a resivor and into a little bucket draw that attaches to underneath.... pretty cool, but they are dumb because, on the box, they showed... bacon, sasuage... AND EGGS. With the decline, the eggs don't sit FLAT and run off.... kinda dumb because there is NO PIECE to sit the grill level. You would think that the would've built something INTO the legs so when you were making eggs or pancakes you could pull it down, and it would sit flat.

Anyways, 2 Powerade caps fixed that problem.

But, yeah, looking forward to some sliced sausage more than some pancakes. Something smells bad in this bathroom, and NOT what you think it would be. I'm in the downstairs bathroom, and, it smells like fabric softner, but its SO overpowering it's almost making my eyes water. Its pretty heinous.

Anyways, maybe I'll apply for Costco previous to breakfast. Already a bit depressed about not being able to find much on Monster and Indeed. At least if I apply, I'll feel like I actually accomplished something today.

Still Here....

So I finished the previous doody or dooDEES post, and, I assumed I'd be off my Porcelain Throne by now. Not happening, which, isn't very pleasant since I took 4 Sleep Aid pills before so I could pop on my mp3 player, and pass out while listening to my meditation mix. Was looking forward to listening to the score for the movie Sunshine and relaxing.

As an adendum to the last entry, "Is It Doody Or DooDEES"?, I'm now wondering what does diarreah fall under?

ANYWAYS, I was just not thinking about one of the best differences between living in Southern California's Inland Empire and New York's Long Island... the people in the retail store out here seem to have WAY better attitudes when helping you.

Before I Cooked diner earlier, I had to run down the street to Ralph's. It's a food store out here I didn't have the pleasure to shop at in NY. I choose to shop there cause, well, LOL, if anyone has seen "The Big Lebowski", it gets not only a mention, but the opening "dude" scene takes place there, everytime I go in, i get a nice chuckle cause I think about "The Big Lebowski", anyways, I ran down to the Ralph's to pick up what I was asked to cook for dinner. Mac and Cheese and some hotdogs... Also got some Smoked Sausage and a Smoked Kielbasa. I miss homemade kielbasa, theres an amazing place on Long Island to get it called Rapacki's. One of the things I'll go and purchase and fly back home with the next time I go home for a visit.

OH and EVERYTHING I bought was on sale. I'm running out of money, so whatever I can do to conserve, the sausages were a "treat" for me, but, the Mac and Cheese was 50 cents a box!!! What a FAT DEAL!!!!

But, the Ralph's I go into, EVERYONE that works there has such a wonderful attitude. In NY, when you go into a retail store, everyone has such a horrible attitude. These people out here seem genuienly happy to take a few minutes out of their day to answer a question, or to have a nice word when ringing me up. one of the ladies even told me I had fastly become one of her favorite customers since I always have a smile on my face. I told her that its REAL easy to have that smile when the customer service at the store is so amazing.

It makes the harder things a little easier, and, makes things like running to the store a pleasure when you KNOW your going to get wonderful service with a smile. I know my gfs dog Holly appreciate this too, as, one of Hollys favorite things is going for a car ride. Holly is a very meticulous dog. She takes her time with everything she does. The only 2 times she really gets excited is when were going for a walk or a car ride. Its so funny, I've been out here about 2 months, I decided when I'm going on shorter car rides, I'll bring Holly. By the third time I jingled my keys where she could see, she learned that meant a Car ride... I'll open the door, she runs out, and by the time I turn around to lock the door, shes already sitting at the back bumper of my car. She also learned about when I'm going up the street to get the mail too.

But yeah, Holly LOVES car rides.

So let me go, I seem to be having issues in here, I hope I'm not catching the stomach bug part of what my gf and her sister have.

Is It Doody Or Doodies?

Eariler in the day I was contemplating what my next entry was going to be about, around the time I was cooking dinner for my gf and her sister, and was wondering if I should write about the "Inception" type dream I had, you know the whole dream within a dream ideal, that actually happens to me all to often, or discuss the age old adage, "Is it doody or dooDEES"?

The ago old adage won out.

A guy I used to work with, Matt, good guy, little slow on the uptake, or I shouldn't say that, he MAY have been a genius and just acted that way to get away with what he did. If thats the case, he DID have all of us fooled. Like I said, good guy, just frustrating to work with. Hung out with him a bunch of times, had loads of fun. Especially watching one of his friends fucking with the lamp by turning it on and off constantly.

Anyways, "Is it doody or dooDEES?" was one of Matt's sayings he repeated constantly, used to annoy most people, but, I always for some reason found it funny. I guess you can go back to the working on overnight for 10 years as a reason I lost a bit of my mind.

It's an interesting question when you really think about it. Like, if your going #2, and one huge baby arm type log comes out... obviously, thats doody, not the plural, doodees. But where it actually gets kind of confusing is, does it go from being doody to doodees if it comes OUT in one piece, but when it hits the bowl water, it splits apart. Or even if it STAYS in one piece thru the entire bowel movement process, but when you FLUSH, it breaks apart, was it a doody or doodees?

can a doody actually BE doody AND doodies in its lifespan?

Is doody in itself even a pluralized word? like moose or deer is?

I, in a strange way can understand why my former co-worker and friend Matt, repeatly asked himself and everyone else this question. Is there a solid answer to the age old question of weather it's doody or doodees? I don't believe that I have enough brain power to actually come up with a competent response to it. With so many variables, and what I'm sure would be differing opinions, I don't think well ever have an answer to all the gray areas about doody or doodees. So for now, I'll hope that when I push some out, that when I catch a glimpse of whats down below swimming under my bare buttcheeks when I got to wipe, remember, FRONT TO BACK PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY the ladies, don't really want to wipe crusty crumbs of whats left of your doody or doodees into your vagina, as you ladies don't have that protective ball sack wall us males have in case we DO forget to wipe front to back, will be EITHER a single doody, OR multiple of said doodee ALREADY. I'd hate to spend the rest of the day trying to deconstruct the mystery which is.... "Is It Doody or DooDEES?"

Is It Tuesday... Or Is It Threesday?

One of the biggest problems I have being out of work is that the days all kinda seem to blend together.

I'm pretty sure its Tuesday, but, I'm not 100% sure. Add in the fact my gf is home sick from work again, lets see if she actually listens to my suggestion about not filling her lungs with smoke while shes sick....I wonder if she took anything?.... it's also throwing me off quite a bit.

Being out of work sucks for me. I've only been out of work for one other extended period of time in my life. After seperating from the evil heartless drug chain, their CEO must be a mix of Mr. Burns from The Simpsons, The Grinch, if, you know, his black heart NEVER got all big, AND Ebenezzer Scrooge if after visiting with 4 ghosts, he basically said, Fuck It I'll keep being who I want to be, I was out of work from November 06 till April of 07.

On a side note, its funny how the 3 long term jobs I've had since i decided college wasn't my "thing", but decision their, ALL ended the 1st week of November.

But, when I left Black Hearted/Heartless Drug chain (different, yet the same) I took a month to decide what direction I wanted my life to go down. It than took 3 months to actually GET the job I applied for. I put my application in before christmas of 06, and didn't actually START the job till the 2nd week of April, and, this was after being TOLD I had the job.... which is fine, that is kinda how government works.

This is different tho. I moved out here with the expectation with my 10+ years retail management experience that I would AT LEAST pick up a job for the holidays, and, possibly parlay that into a regular working job so I could save up some cash and get my California drivers license and than apply for better jobs.

This didn't happen. So, as each day passes my original plan keeps getting pushed back further and further. See, out here, and I do fully understand why, it seems you need a California Drivers liscence to apply for jobs you drive a vehicle for a company. IE Time Warner cable installers, Water Companys, Government Jobs... In NY, that doesn't seem to be the case, as a dude I worked with at my last job, shitbreath, clearly had a Florida drivers license, yet was allowed to be a truck driver from where I worked.

In case your wondering, California has all sorts of crazy laws out here that pertain to DMV stuff. Sure GETTING a license isn't the problem, money wise... but California has some doomaas law that says if you transfer your liscence over from a different state, and you have a car registered in your name, you have 10 days to re register that car in California, OR sell it.

I don't have the "paper" right now to do that. Add onto that there is ANOTHER california law that says if a car is purchased within a certain time frame (mind you it doesn't say how long that time frame IS) from out of state, you have to pay the California sales tax on the purchase price, well, I don't have the 9% of original purchase price to drop on paying some stupid california fees, it brings me to the predicamite I am in now.

Hence why NOT being able to pick up a job for a few months to save that money is so stressful.

Everyone keeps telling me to be positive and optimistic... but when does it become time to STOP being positive and optimistic, and start becoming REALISTIC? I gave up so much to come out here and start a life with my gf, and it seems like nothing is going at all right since I got here. I try and ignore this on a daily basis, do what i need to do spending hours online in the morning looking for and applying for jobs online. I spent 3 days last week driving around asking places in person about jobs, to which i was told, do it online at 10 of the 12 places I went, and, it has been implied by people THATS why I'm not getting a job... to which after going to all those places it was like, they all just told me to apply and look at their online websites, all I have done NOW is, waste 3 full days of job hunting online, AND money in that I used up gas.

Ok I'm rambling on.....

Back on point, it's hard to know what day it is anymore when I don't have a routine going. I'm not the type of person to be lazy and be out of work, and it's killing me to be out of work. I enjoy being LAZY, but, I enjoy being productive, and not having a job makes me feel unproductive and useless. Add onto the fact that I'm ALSO not the type of person to ask for handouts and assistance, I can't bring myself to apply for government aid, there ARE actually people more needy than I, as a family member of someone who is handicapped, and having friends whose kids are, as well as being friends with people who are, my not having a job is a reason to apply for any of those government funded handouts. There are people WAY more needy than me that get their money thru government funding, and, I wouldn't want any money I got to take away from them and make THEM suffer. Guess I'm just glad I have a roof over my head at this point.

IDK. Anyways, better get off the pot, because I don't gotta shit no more.

Title, I Don't Need No Stinking Title!!!

Ok, well thanks to the wonders of the internet, 4 paragraphs I had written just disappeared. Awesome.

Anyways, I found out a pretty cool thing before I came in here, my gf and her sister hadn't had the pleasure of Twin Peaks before me. They watch Psych, and they told me about teh Dual Spires episode, hich I watched and loved due to all the Twin Peaks references AND the fact they had mutiple actual Twin Peaks performers in it, but, my gfs sister just comes up to me and told me she was watching Fringe and there was a reference to Dr. Jacoby. Its amazing how even after all these years Twin Peaks still feels fresh and relevant, but would you expect anything else from the great David Lynch?

I wish I had more to say, but, its really frustrating to have that happen. I've had this happen so many times before with computers. it might be why i'm always more confortable just writing in notebooks.

Computers are so fucking sketchy when it comes to this, at least the worst that can happen with a notebook or paper is that you run out of ink in the pen you are using.

It's a little after 12am PST, I'm still wide awake. I used up all but one dose of Nyquill, and I fell bad taking it, as my gf is uber sick still. I suggested she stop smoking for a few days until her lungs recover from her cough and she just looked at me like I had 6 heads. I hope if the day comes we ever decide to have kids, and I suggest she stop smoking THAN, I don't get the same "you have 6 heads" look I got tonight.

I took some Sleeping pills about an hour ago, and they still aren't kicking in. Odd. After this, I've got to rework my downtime play list on my mp3 player. When it's time for bed if I'm not tired or the pills don't kick in, I tend to try and meditate while listening to some stuff that puts me in a zone.

I added the phenomial sountracks from Inception and Sunshine to my mp3 player before. They have that "dream" type feel I enjoy while trying to fall asleep or meditate. Got some cool stuff on there, things like The Diamond Sea by Sonic Youth, Jet Black by Jawbreaker, Naveed and Hope b Our Lady Peace, Only In Dreams by Weezer.... things of this nature.

Other than that, I don't know honestly how much I'm really looking forward to yet ANOTHER day of failure looking for jobs. My gf suggested a Temp agency 2 or 3 weeks ago, but, I really want a job, even if it's something I don't really want to spend my life doing, that at least offers me vacation time. I'd like to be able to go visit my mom and dad and family back in NY around thanksgiving. it's my fav holiday, and, nothing makes me happier than spending time with my family on the holidays. So, IDK, it seems like a good idea for now, but at 35, I really can't spend too much time working at Temp jobs.

I wish I could find a job out here like the one I had working for a local Township. I worked with great people, I had PRIDE in myself for doing what was a worthy job, and it had a HUGE future for me. Right now, I don't really have ANY future... which is depressing to me. It sucks, I haven't had anything in my life the past few years that would be considered depressing, I loved my job, loved my living situation, love my place in life. Right now, I really don't know WHAT to feel or think about my life. Kinda sucks. Hard to see the bright side of things when its pitch black out, overcast, and no moon.... and my flashlight is out of batteries. I hope sometimes soon, someone gives me some batteries so I can find my way again. Right now, I'm wandering down the path pretty much blind and oblivious to what tomorrow is going to bring.

First Entry: A Girl Named Rita...

So, IDK why this popped into my head while watching Jeoporady before with my gf and her sister, but back when I worked overnight retail for a major drug store chain, one whose heart is BLACK and cold when it comes to their employees, This girl Rita used to come into everyonce in a while.

She was nice, but kinda disturbed. But, one thing I learned about while working overnight is that alot of what "normal" people would consider strange, is alot of the customers we had to deal with. Over the years i became desensitized to this, and became kinda "strange" in my own right.

I guess working overnight can do that to you.

Anyways, I have quite a few stories about Rita, but, here is the one i was thinking about just now.

I was working one night, a 10pm-4am shift, which was kinda a "Half" shift, not that we EVER got to take lunch or a break as we were always "Encouraged" by our management NOT to by their reactions to if we DID take a 15 minute break on our 10 hour shift, and some work didn't get done, lest they not sit in the office for 4 hours of their shift... which we witnessed on a regular occaison if we watched the DVR back...

anyways, Rita comes in. Rita was a nice girl, just seemed a little spacy. She comes in, and by this time I had become friendly with her, as I did alot of the customers that had come in during our shift. I was about to get off work, so she had mentioned how exciting that was and asked me if she waited around, if i wanted to come with her.

I was confused and interested, and asked her where she was going.

rita tells me to come out to her car.

On going outside, there was her Station wagon packed full. She had decided 4 or 5 hours earlier that she was going to go out to california to try and make it out there. So she proceeded to pack her station wagon, and, came in to ask me if I wanted to accompany her. why, she didnt really say, but I always assumed that because we had tried to start a band previous, and she knew I was a writer and played some guitar, that I would be an asset.

I honestly never found out why she wanted to go anyways.

I asked her which way she was going, she told me she was looking forward to driving thru NYC and thru chicago and going that way.

So, I was like fuck it, I told her, I'd go for the ride with her till she hit NYC, and, if she'd drop me off at Penn Station, which is under Madison Square Garden, and I'd catch a train home.

she was all for that.

I don't remember much about the ride, just that she seemed like something happened she didn't really want to discuss, and that she figured she could find something to do in LA.

Rita wasn't a bad looking girl, but, Rita wasn't what you would call a "looker" so I don't think that she was really what the movies or TV were looking for. Who knows what she expected to achieve when she got out there.

She obviously made an impression on me, cause here I am, writing about her on my blog. She got in Manhattan, she dropped me off at Penn Station, said goodbye, I said good luck, and i watched her drive off down 5th Ave? whatever the street is out front of MSG, u know, across from Hotel Pennsylvania, said to myself, Hm... better go catch a train home.

Got back to Long Island, walked from the train station to my house, not very far, as I had no vehicle at this point, which is another story for another day, and went to bed, taking some solace is thinking maybe someday I would be "man" enough to make my dreams come true, and, chase my goals or dreams like Rita did. I was envious of her, wished I had the drive to do what she did.

2 or 3 nights later tho, who came into my store? Rita. she hit Philidelphia I believe? I'm not really sure where she had gotten to, but she turned around and went back home. After that, Rita kinda became just another customer to me. It's one thing to SAY your going to do something, and not do it, but to START and not finish is another. I didn't have anything but negative thoughts about her again. Everytime she came into my store aafter that, I tried to avoid her. Even back then subconsciously, I was trying to cut the negatives from my life, and, I just saw her as a failure.

Whatever became of Rita, I don't know. The last time i saw her, she came into the store to sit down and read magazines for a few hours like she usually did, which, didn't bother me in the slightest, at 2am, someone looking for a place to waste some time, for whatever reason, at 2am, they must have a good reason, and since she never stole, never caused a problem, but the last time i saw her she looked about 6 months pregnant.

I never saw Rita again. I hope for her babies sake that she "normalzied". But, like alot of people i've had contact with in my life, I'm glad that Rita was a part of it. Just one of the many people in my past I'll think about everyonce in a while and wonder to myself, what happened to her.

A New Day... A New Idea...

So, I was hopped up on nyquill in the wee hours of last night, or more likely, the wee hours of the morning, and I had this idea to write while I was dropping deuces. Exclusivly. Now, while this may not be a pleasent thought to some, I sometimes have a weak stomach, and, usually I'm in there on my stupidphone reading ESPN or wikiing things I'd like to know more about, or using a nail clipper to trim the excess skin off my thumbs, which, is one of my habits, I pick and rip the skin off my thumbs.

But, I'm an aspiring... "writer", notice the quotes because I can't bring myself to call myself that in a serious manner, and, what better way to write than when I'm engaged in a battle with my colon?

I came to the conclusion of this being a good idea because, well, I moved to Southern California about 2 months ago, 2nd week of November, and things have not gone the way I had expected. I look everyday online for jobs. I apply everyday for jobs. I have yet to hear about a job yet. It's been 2 months, and, no one seems to want to hire me for anything, from retail store management, to retail cashiering, to jobs like glass repair, working at Auto Club and Irwindale Speedways, to looking for, and failing to find away to apply to work a labor type job on a movie/tv set. I need something to keep myself "active" and something to keep my brain "stimulated".

On a side note, my girlfriends dog holly, who was sitting next to me on the couch while I was writing this, got tired of my typing, took one look at me, hopped off the couch, and proceeded to go into the next room. I guess she can smell the epic fail eminating from the laptop and decided, well, fuck this. But thats a-ok. Holly is cool.

Which brings me to the obvious, I'm STARTING this, the set up, the 1st entry, NOT on the porcelain throne. I'm pretty computer savvy with somethings, but I know that I couldn't get this started in the time I'd be in the bathroom for one round. So I guess you could say I'm cheating with this first post, but this really isn't a first post, more of a prologue.

I hope to post everytime I'm dropping a deuce, so, I would assume thats where the "Ewww gross" part will become a factor. Because whenever you read this, it's assured that I'm typing... while on the toilet. But than if it wasn't the case, the "Porcelain Throne Chronicales" wouldn't make ANY sense now would it?

I'm kind of one of those people who starts something like this and doesn't ever seem to keep up with it, but, I guess thats the optimist in me winning out, cause here I am yet AGAIN, starting to write something, knowing about how my past has been.

Anyways, I hope everyone will enjoy the ride, no matter how short or how long it will be.