Ok, well thanks to the wonders of the internet, 4 paragraphs I had written just disappeared. Awesome.
Anyways, I found out a pretty cool thing before I came in here, my gf and her sister hadn't had the pleasure of Twin Peaks before me. They watch Psych, and they told me about teh Dual Spires episode, hich I watched and loved due to all the Twin Peaks references AND the fact they had mutiple actual Twin Peaks performers in it, but, my gfs sister just comes up to me and told me she was watching Fringe and there was a reference to Dr. Jacoby. Its amazing how even after all these years Twin Peaks still feels fresh and relevant, but would you expect anything else from the great David Lynch?
I wish I had more to say, but, its really frustrating to have that happen. I've had this happen so many times before with computers. it might be why i'm always more confortable just writing in notebooks.
Computers are so fucking sketchy when it comes to this, at least the worst that can happen with a notebook or paper is that you run out of ink in the pen you are using.
It's a little after 12am PST, I'm still wide awake. I used up all but one dose of Nyquill, and I fell bad taking it, as my gf is uber sick still. I suggested she stop smoking for a few days until her lungs recover from her cough and she just looked at me like I had 6 heads. I hope if the day comes we ever decide to have kids, and I suggest she stop smoking THAN, I don't get the same "you have 6 heads" look I got tonight.
I took some Sleeping pills about an hour ago, and they still aren't kicking in. Odd. After this, I've got to rework my downtime play list on my mp3 player. When it's time for bed if I'm not tired or the pills don't kick in, I tend to try and meditate while listening to some stuff that puts me in a zone.
I added the phenomial sountracks from Inception and Sunshine to my mp3 player before. They have that "dream" type feel I enjoy while trying to fall asleep or meditate. Got some cool stuff on there, things like The Diamond Sea by Sonic Youth, Jet Black by Jawbreaker, Naveed and Hope b Our Lady Peace, Only In Dreams by Weezer.... things of this nature.
Other than that, I don't know honestly how much I'm really looking forward to yet ANOTHER day of failure looking for jobs. My gf suggested a Temp agency 2 or 3 weeks ago, but, I really want a job, even if it's something I don't really want to spend my life doing, that at least offers me vacation time. I'd like to be able to go visit my mom and dad and family back in NY around thanksgiving. it's my fav holiday, and, nothing makes me happier than spending time with my family on the holidays. So, IDK, it seems like a good idea for now, but at 35, I really can't spend too much time working at Temp jobs.
I wish I could find a job out here like the one I had working for a local Township. I worked with great people, I had PRIDE in myself for doing what was a worthy job, and it had a HUGE future for me. Right now, I don't really have ANY future... which is depressing to me. It sucks, I haven't had anything in my life the past few years that would be considered depressing, I loved my job, loved my living situation, love my place in life. Right now, I really don't know WHAT to feel or think about my life. Kinda sucks. Hard to see the bright side of things when its pitch black out, overcast, and no moon.... and my flashlight is out of batteries. I hope sometimes soon, someone gives me some batteries so I can find my way again. Right now, I'm wandering down the path pretty much blind and oblivious to what tomorrow is going to bring.
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